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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Interracial dating dilemmas

Arnold Chao, Yahoo! dating editor (how does one get a job like that?!) wrote a good piece on four common obstacles in interracial dating. (http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24298/dating-101-dealing-with-the-race-factor)
First: dealing with what he charitably calls "traditionalists" that think people ought to "stick with their own kind" (my paraphrase). Chao's advice is good: we need acceptance, so gotta surround ourselves with friends who are approving, to counter the inevitable negativity.I'd say "celebrate," not "tolerate" diversity, though, as Chao puts it)
Second: dealing with media stereotypes (playing it safe so as not to offend). Recognize it for what it is--a crass commercial decision.
Third: dealing with bigoted family members. Stand up to them, firmly, and demand respect from teh get-g0, or you'll regret it, eating away at you.
Last: dealing with "gazers"--cope by not assuming they are offended, and pretend they see you and your partner as notable celebs, instead! (nice!)

One last notable observation from a table Chao doesn't comment much on--the gender difference in interracial preferences. White males are 3 times more likely to have an Asian spouse than are white females (530,000 vs. 174,000). And black males are more than 5 times as likely to have an Asian spouse than are black females (34,000 to 6,000). Finally, and less surprising to me, though just as troublesome, black males are 2 1/2 times as likely to have a white spouse as are black females (286,000 to 117,000). Color blind my gluteous maximus!

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